Title: Schmitle

A couple of years ago I started this blog for two reasons, the first of which was to have a venue where I could freely express my opinions/frustrations over various movies and television shows. The second reason was, of course, to eventually be discovered by a film website or magazine. My dream was to quit waiting tables and get super fat and rich just sitting around all day writing about media. Like most projects that I commit myself to, I dove into this blog headfirst and for a couple of months updated it on a daily basis. I wrote critiques not only of films and television episodes, but also of everything from trailers, to posters, to gossip about the future film career of Gizmo. I developed a small following of readers who enjoyed my weekly Lost recaps and overuse of the word awesome, but it didn't take long for me to become discouraged. There are at the very least twenty seven million film review websites on the internet. That's not an exaggeration; I just spent the last 6 months counting them. The market is completely saturated. Other than a pretty badass Van Damme avatar and the occasionally mind-blowing dissertation on the age-old feud between Batman and Superman, there wasn't a hell of a lot that my blog had to offer that couldn't be found elsewhere.

Writing reviews got really boring for me after the first month or so. After a few short weeks I had completely abandoned the primary euphoric reason why I had started this blog, and was forcing myself to keep going because I knew that eventually Filmthreat or Aintitcool would come a knockin'. Once I started looking at things pragmatically there was absolutely no reason to keep Awesomtown open at all and so I just let it die. 

I have decided to reopen Awesometown in an entirely new direction. In place of film reviews there will be essays about a young boy (me) whose discovery and obsession with pornography at a young age led to an unhealthy masturbation addiction and fear of intimacy. In lieu of a trailer synopsis you can expect to read a nauseating true story about a parasite and the cavalier emergency room doctor who removed it. This is just the beginning folks. Come in, kick off your shoes and make yourselves uncomfortably at home.

Welcome to Awesometown, enjoy it while it lasts.